To the One Struggling with Uncertainty, This is How You Build Faith
When you’ve exhausted all your options to overcome your challenges, and nothing seems to be working, that’s when you have nothing left to do but turn to faith. And this is normal for all of us. It’s as though we’re so confident, so sure, that we are the ones in control of every outcome that this is often where we start first. But it’s in times of great upheaval and uncertainty (and usually pain) that we come to realize that the only thing left we can do is to have faith.
Without faith, we are anxious, burnt out, overly controlling, and none of these behaviors make our situation any better. Instead, having faith allows you to focus on what you actually can control, and let go of the rest: the timing, the exact nature of how it will show up. It feels so much more balanced and freeing to live this way, knowing you are always taken care of, and that your job is to be in this state of having faith and expecting things to work out for you. Why is it hard to live this way?
As I mentioned, having faith is often a last resort for many of us, as we are conditioned in society to be hyper-individualized. We are socialized in a culture of meritocracy: if I do x then I will get y outcome. Except, so much of our life experience is non-linear, and to be perfectly honest, messy, so it doesn’t usually work out this way.
Throughout my life I have navigated times of complete uncertainty: surviving leukemia when I was young, moving back home after losing a job while living abroad in London, getting sober in 2016, navigating a global pandemic, and moving through multiple great resignations where I left roles without anything lined up.
So I know a thing or two about taking risks and having faith that the next step will become clear. Each transition taught me how to build more faith. I was coaching a client recently who was struggling to trust their partner and have faith that they would not abandon them, and becoming more aware that they struggled with anxious attachment tendencies. They asked me, “how do you have more faith?”
It happened that we were about to start a module in my signature coaching method, completely dedicated to building faith. That question inspired to pen this article, and share with you the practical tools and shifts you must have to build a sense of faith. Take what resonates and leave the rest, ultimately what resonates the most will be most effective and like building a new muscle, enjoying the process will help you continue.
Build safety in your body
It cannot be overstated that your body’s sense of safety, your nervous system, will directly impact your ability to lean into faith. Everyone’s level of safety is going to be different as well, based on economic status, ethnic diversity, trauma experienced, etc. Building safety in your body starts with awareness. With this awareness you can start to speak to your body, letting it know it’s okay, it’s safe, you can rest, and you can lean into faith.
This way, you can shift out of hyper-aroused states, into rest and digest mode more easily. It can be difficult to have faith if you are constantly on-edge, hypervigilant. Faith is an entirely opposite sensation. It is present, secure, and still. I recommend starting to feel into what safety feels like in your body and accessing this state on a regular basis. Maybe when you are practicing yoga, meditation, or sitting in nature, you can start to remember these states and choose to embody them when you want. Breathwork is a powerful tool I turn to and offer to clients to create a relationship of safety and trust with the body.
Focus on every instance in your life where everything worked out for you
Shift your focus towards past outcomes in your life when you weren’t able to see what was coming next and yet what turned out happening was exactly what you needed. Can you look back and find these instances in your life? This is proof that you can have faith in the concept that circumstances did in fact lead you to the right place, and something you can add to your ‘faith’ bank.
If you didn’t experience this in your life, or you find this exercise challenging, I invite you instead to seek evidence of outcomes working out in your current life, no matter how small or big they are. A lot of people I work with feel supported when they see repeating angel numbers, animals, or experience synchronicities, like for example, meeting someone who is helpful to you at just the right time.
Other suggestions include working with oracle cards and cacao, both tools can connect you to your higher power and offer insights on your path. Shifting your focus in this direction, away from what is NOT working, will help you focus on building that faith and aligned action from this place.
Create a gratitude practice
Gratitude has a significant impact on the human brain. It reduces fear and anxiety by regulating stress hormones, and it enhances dopamine as well as serotonin, the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness. In other words, when you focus on gratitude, you cannot experience anxiety and distrust.
Once I learned this, it actually helped me to commit to a gratitude practice, as I finally understood that this wasn’t just a fluffy ideal, but an absolute necessity. I end each day by mentally noting 3 things I’m grateful for from the day. This helps me shift my state right before sleeping, influencing my subconscious with this positivity while I sleep for the night. If you struggle with doing this daily, find an accountability partner who you can share your gratitude lists with via text or messenger, so you can both stay on track.
Consume faith-fortifying content
Shift away from negative content (true crime, social media, the constant news stream) and instead consume faith-fortifying material. A book series I recommend to clients is Conversations with God by Neal Donald Walsch. If you are struggling with having faith, this series is especially supportive as it outlines the author’s written back and forth conversations with an entity that he comes to realize is God. Skeptically, Neal asks God all of his questions about the world and how it works and ultimately in an attempt to clear the blocks to his faith. It’s a fascinating three-part book series that can dramatically shift your perspective.
I also recommend reading devotionals, scriptures, and other spiritual texts, such as sutras, that you can read as part of your morning routine to start your day off on an inspired note. Podcasts and YouTube videos that also focus on faith and share stories of inspiration will also be supportive.
Create a visual representation of faith
I am a huge fan of using visuals to help remind you throughout the day that faith is always there for you to tap into and lean on. It can be pretty easy to lose sight of this in our day-to-day so how can you create a constant reminder that faith is here, so you can build a deep relationship with it?
For me, this looked like getting a tattoo on my inner arm, facing me, that reads ‘have faith.’ Hard to ignore this when I’m wavering in my belief! You don’t have to do something this permanent, but you can post reminders on sticky notes, or nice stationary, around your bedroom or workspace.
You can create a piece of art, or print out & frame a quote that instills faith. I have a framed picture on my desk of a turtle hatchling on it’s journey to swim out to sea from a trip to Puerto Escondido, Mexico. That day I witnessed the baby turtle I got to support, race across the sand in such a flurry, that I named him Unstoppable. It’s something that reminds me of faith in my business’s growth whenever I see it. Find a visual representation that’s personal to you and place it in an area you spend a lot of time in.
Automatic writing exercise
My clients seem to love this exercise, called automatic writing, or ‘ask the question exercise’. Essentially, journal on anything you’re confused about, or struggling to have faith with, and ask for what you need — clarity, support, etc. and see how it shows up. Let go of what you think you should write, and instead let your intuition guide the pen on your paper.
This is a conversation with your subconscious, your intuitive wisdom, that knows that answers within you. When you let go of what you ‘think’ you need, and instead let go and tune into what is there, this is when you can start believing in a force greater than yourself that holds a lot of the answers you seek.
It can take some getting used to, so keep at it, and if at first you need to right down what you ‘think’ that’s okay! Keep writing and you will see that your intuition will soon take over.
Have Faith
These may seem like small, practical rituals and shifts, but you’ll find they make a long lasting shift in your sense of faith. Ultimately, faith is something you have a relationship to. If you are consciously connecting to faith, investing your time and energy into building this sense of faith, that starts to permeate your emotions, thoughts, energy, and body.
Having a strong sense of faith has a multitude of benefits: it helps you trust yourself more, trust others more, and offers you the flexibility and ability to take healthy risks and vulnerability. It is a driver for deeper connection, love, joy, trust, and overall wellbeing.
